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Do You See What I See?

I was sitting in front of my Facebook newsfeed page when two pictures popped up, one literally atop the other. Both friends were commenting on how beautiful it was to be at the beach at sunset.

What I found to be extraordinary was both were posted at the same time, looking at the same sunset—however, one was on Victoria Island, in British Columbia and the other was on the California coast.

I kept looking at them thinking, “Same, but different.” I mean, we only have one sun, right? And look at where the sun is on the horizon–nearly at the same point in both pictures. And the pics were posted one after the other, essentially popping up together.

And then it struck me, “We DO see different things when we’re both looking at the same thing!”

Visions of past conversations with my hubby that went bliss to discord in a flash, replayed in my mind like a movie montage. All of a sudden, I could see it all so clearly.

The filters that each of us uniquely own due to our past experiences color and shape everything we see, so it’s highly unlikely that we would ever truly see the same thing.

It was obvious that both Facebook friends were looking at the same sunset within moments of each other, and their geographic locations were 1500+ apart. However, all I could hear were the questions:

“Can you see how cool those rocks look?” the one asking the other.

And the other replying, “What rocks?”

I could feel the frustration beginning to rise as I’d been down this road too many times to count.

My mind knew that neither one was wrong …and both are right.

But, how often do we decide that only one can be right?

It bowled me over in thought for a good few minutes. I was thinking about how our childhood experiences and upbringing mold and shape our perspectives. How the actual geographical points-of-view are different, yet they’re both looking at the same sunset. The pictures look the same, but different.

So my purpose in sharing this story with you is to give you a picture–two actually–that demonstrate how communication can get befuddled if we forget that we each have our own views and filters.

The words, “Aren’t we both looking at the same thing?” echo in my head as I reflect on my own stubborn behavior. Believe me, after being together for 20+ years with my beloved, we’ve been there …many, many times, lol!

Have you? Maybe the conversation you’re remembering isn’t with a spouse or partner, but it’s one with a sibling, a boss, a friend, or someone else.

Speaking for myself, as I mature, (there’s hope for us all, ha ha) my stubbornness seems a bit silly. Why should my perspective be the “right” one? Does “right” really matter?

And again, another epiphany …if we’re arguing about who’s right, we miss the beauty of the sunset all together.

When things don’t align with what we expect, a curious mind can serve us better. A curious mind would ask, “You see rocks? I don’t. Tell me what that looks like.”

Now, instead of arguing the details between us, we’re sharing our experiences and enhancing what is before us seeing an even bigger, better picture—if we’re open to it.

Here’s my thought: when it comes to being an individual, all of us are completely unique, and my individuality is no more important to me than your individuality is to you. For me to expect you to come to my side and see things my way, is a set up for my own eminent disaster. Why should you give up your individuality and adopt mine. Doesn’t make sense. And frankly, now that I’m maturing in age, I’m finding other people’s points of view interesting, if not intriguing.

One of my favorite icons is Sir Richard Branson. He says, “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

The next time you find yourself wondering, “Where’s the disconnect? Aren’t we looking at the same thing?” ask questions. You’ll find out more, save yourself an argument, and stay in the bliss of connection and HarMoney™.

I’m not sure if this is more of a rant than helping, but it just struck my nerve and I had to get it out.

Remember, it’s your money, your rules, your way!

You can do it! I believe in you!

Money Savvy Woman, Inc. © 2015